By Ev Bogue - December 31st 2014
Business lessons with pez. Late, but not forgotten.
I went to the pez mercado yesterday, and I couldn't figure out what to write about. It's between Christmas and New Years, the pez in the fish tanks were kind of sparse. There were a lot of Sword-tail molly things and Angelfish. I've become embittered towards Angelfish over the past few weeks, because they can't seem to stop dying.
But all of the gatos are still alive, knock on my desk, so that's cool. But all of the gatos refers to all of them, because i can't tell the difference between them. They all look the same. Except piggly the bronze corydora. He's the odd man out in the 13 gatos.
To be clear, I'm talking about aquarium fish here. Someone thought I was talking about pot for some reason.
Anyway, there have been a lot of deaths this year. In the Aquarium, in the world. And business lessons from pez is this: you can't choose who dies. Who offs themselves. Who's water isn't quite right and they decide to go belly up for no reason.
Sometimes you don't care. The Angelfish... I don't care. The guppies. I cried. The bettas I was sad. Luk, I cried.
But you can't stop a fish from going belly up, just as you can't stop a kid from jumping off a bridge. They never ask: "hey EB, do you want me to go belly up?" no, they just do.
So that is the last business lesson from Pez (for this year?).
Operator's Manual comes out tomorrow for a limited release, I hope you'll buy it. All proceeds go towards more fish, a roof over my head, and enough booze to drink away the sadness from flushing those motherfuckers down the toilet.