By Ev Bogue - December 24th 2014
Business lessons with pez.
Okay, so I have a lot of fish now. But probably not as many as I will have. The fish greed! It's contageous. But the trouble is, it's winter in Mexico City, and believe it or not, it gets cold down here, what with being nestled in the mountains and all. It can drop below 50 degrees at night in my apartment, and there is no internal heating system, so I'm left with one option!
To heat the fish tanks better.
Because there have been too many fish losses to what I can only imagine is not enough heat.
So I bought this one heater. Made in China. Crap. It's so safe. It won't roast my fish, but it also won't heat the tank. It just turns on and off all day, but never heats the damn thing up to a decent temperature.
The gatos don't seem to mind, but they are bottom feeders, and are used to un-ideal temps. The angels however have been dropping like flies. And the bettas, they just light up when the temp gets over 80 degress F.
So what am I do to? Schedule another trip to the pez mercado of course.
First stop, gato store. She has 3 more gatos. I buy them on the spot, even though they were slightly more expensive for 3 than they were for 10. Now I have a lucky number of 13 gatos.
Next I wander around the fish mercado looking at heaters. They all look shitty, in a very similar shitty way to the heater I already own that won't stay on goddamnit!
It is in these moments that it's important to look around and see what the locals are using to heat their tanks. We all live in Mexico City after all, and it gets cold, whether your fish are swimming at the pez mercado or in my apartment.
So I look into the tanks of my favorite gato dealer, and what does she have but the most ghetto ass heaters I've ever seen.
These heaters are basically test tubes with sand in them, and some sort of heating element that i cannot see. Oh, and an electrical cord running out of them, that people seem content to throw into water without a worry in the world. It's ghetto as fuck.
So what do I decide to do? I buy the ghetto as fuck heater. It's only venti-cinco pesos. And what do you know? It heats my tank up to a ripe old temperature of 82 degrees at night, even when it's fucking cold.
So business lessons with pez lesson of the day is this: sometimes the ghettoist thing is the best thing.
But I might take this back of it explodes and kills all of my fish.
Hi! I'm Ev Bogue. I serve at a restaurant in Fayetteville, NC.
I no longer use email. Please use Decent to contact me.