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Node is done, now get your PHP-programming ass out my kitchen

By Ev Bogue - November 21st 2013

Since I wrote Node is Done, I've gotten some unexpected responses.

A certain, unfortunate, subset of my audience has been asking me whether Node being done is an excuse for them to go back PHP.

No, you don't get to go back to PHP. You misunderstand me. Not because I was unclear in my piece, but because you WANT to misunderstand me so you can opt-out of doing hard things.

If Node is done, then PHP has been done for 10 years.

And besides, just because you know how to do an include in PHP and have installed Wordpress a handful of times doesn't mean you're a PHP dev. You're just using the default software on an ancient webhost because you don't want learn how to do anything more advanced than what I was doing as a teenager in 1999.

Just do me a favor, take all of your PHP knowledge, find a metaphorical trashcan in your head, and throw it all in there.

O B S O L E T E spells obsolete. PHP is O B S O L E T E.

If anything, you should be taking my Node is done piece as an excuse to learn something harder than Node. How about C?

If you re-read my Node is done piece, you will see what I was saying was this. Node is stable now. It's not going to change a lot. We've seen most of what can be done with it. Node is for programming web servers with JavaScript. Node is not for unicorns and rainbows. It won't magically turn you into a better communicator. It's for programming web servers with JavaScript.

If you have no interest in configuring web servers, I can only hope it's because you think the web is dead. Or perhaps you work in the service industry, and you have the privilege of only thinking about food all day. Not because you want to cop-out and...

Here's what I don't get. Why do you keep confusing PHP with Node.js? They have very little in common. If you knew anything about Node.js or PHP you would realize the shapes of these languages are very different. Node.js is a functional programming experience, PHP is a ...boring programming experience?

All programming comes down to this simple question: what do you want to accomplish with your code?

Do you want to do something lame that everyone else has already done, or do you want to accomplish something original no one else has done before?

Do you want to create a bunch of bloated code that's already been created before in a simpler way, or do you want to simplify existing technology until it does one thing well?

If you can't take this heat, get your PHP-programming ass out my kitchen.

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