I recently untethered from most of my hair. This is a brief Q/A about that.
What happens when you have to untether from your hair for some reason or another?
Hair for me is strange. I find myself getting really tied up in it. For the last few years, I had this either right or left swoop going on. I parted my hair very far on the side of my head. I usually kept it in right swoop, but left swoop was significantly longer.
Recently, I decided to cut it all off. We took a number 5 on one of those electric razors and cut my hair down to that. I looked kind of strange for a bit (in the mirror), but now I'm starting to settle into the new look. My hair hasn't been this short for many years.
Why do people get so hung up on hair? Like, it's this thing people think they can comment on -- it's as though we have eliminated so many things that you can talk with a barely known stranger/friend about -- no politics, no religion, no body weight (unless it's to say "you look like you've lost weight!") but commenting on hair seems to still be fair game. Why do you think that might be?
Why do people get hung up on hair? I'm not sure. I don't find myself commenting on other people's hair. Why do I get so hung up on it? Because I get used to the way I look. I wonder if I change my hair, will people approach me in a different way? Having long erratic hair in a side flop is saying one thing, having short equally cut hair is sending a very different message.
What are the different messages? I suppose the side-flop seems more spectacular to me. Clean cut seems more average, like everyone else. This is just what my mind is telling me right now, about myself. Is it true? Who knows.
And, to that next point, why do people get so hung up when you do something drastic to your hair -- like, say, shave it close as you did recently?
In college, I once grew my hair out until it was down to my shoulders one summer. I hid behind it. It was a very uncertain time in my life. Then I cut it all off, and a lot of people noticed. It was a significant shift for me in doing that. I remember my friend R. saying that my chances of getting laid went up drastically when I cut off the hair. Maybe it did?
Having a foot of hair gave me more to hide behind than a side swoop. But, a side swoop can still feel like something.
How does cutting your hair close blank the slate of your self-hood? Did your ego take a hit?
Cutting my hair definitely felt like a blank slate, when I did it. Now that I'm a week in, I'm starting to feel like myself again. I don't feel shocked when I look in the mirror anymore.
Did my ego take a hit? I don't think so. Actually, I think my ego was taking more hits when the side swoop got so out of control towards the end there a few days ago.
What do you think about yourself now that you've cut your hair so short? Do you see yourself differently?
Do I see myself differently? Yes. When I look in the mirror, there's less to hide behind. I don't really worry too much about it stylistically right now. It just is, there's no need to maintain it anymore. Having my hair this short means I don't have to worry about it as much.
I think if I had no hair, that'd be a far bigger shift.
Why wouldn't you put a photo of your updated hair on the web whenever you shaved it?
It took me a few days to get comfortable with the fact that my hair looked different offline than online. I need to update my photo now, because the guy in the photo and me are starting to look less and less like the same person.
I wonder though: how often am I obligated to update my image? In two months, my hair will be much longer (unless I keep shaving it down to this.)
My digital self also always has around 3-4 days of beard growth, where my physical self alternates between being clean shaven and getting pretty scruffily once a week.
Maybe this isn't a big deal, or maybe it's bigger than we think.
Am I obligated to update everyone on the Internet every time my physical appearance shifts?
How often do you update your digital self's appearance?