How Was Your Experience?

"What do you think?"

I get asked this question a lot.

When I hear "what do you think?" I have a hard time coming up with an answer. In a way, it feels intrusive, because I value my time more than anything. Being prompted to think about something directly that I usually didn't ask to think about feels like an intrusion to me.

Here's what I think: let's ask a better question. One that doesn't ask for me to offer an opinion or advice, but instead asks for something that I (and you) can more easily connect with.

I've been asking this question a lot lately, and it appears to land well with people.

It's a simple change of wording: "how was your experience?"

This is an invitation to speak from experience. It's an invitation to the other person to check in with themselves, and answer with what they see.

If I don't know how to answer, now I can say: "I don't know, I haven't experienced that." You can too.

This feels kinder, to my email box and yours.