Ev BogueLooking back at everything I've done that I thought would destroy me, nothing ever has.
Before I did them? They scared the shit out of me...
- Quitting my job at New York Magazine in July of 2009 scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Leaving the Schoolhouse scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Moving to Portland in August of 2009 scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Living on $3,000 for three months scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Writing my first e-book scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Going back to New York after living in Portland scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Writing a business e-book scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Moving to Oakland scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Taking a month-long digital sabbatical scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Breaking up with A. scared the shit out of me (before we did it.)
- Moving to Oakland alone (and mainly the living alone part) scared the shit of me (before I did it.)
- Being featured on national news scared the shit of me (before I did it.)
- Teaching yoga scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Accidentally finding myself in Boulder Colorado scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Writing a book about cyborgs scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Destroying Far Beyond The Stars (my old blog) scared the shit out of me (before I did it.)
- Writing within the intimacy of the letter scares the shit out of me every time (before I do it.)
Just about every extraordinary thing I've ever done scared me shitless before I did it. It seemed alright while I was doing it. Afterwards, it seemed like cake.
Every single thing on that list I could do in a heartbeat, if I wanted to, again. It wouldn't scare the shit out of me, I know that it wouldn't. Thinking about doing any of those things doesn't challenge me anymore.
- Quitting email scares the shit out of me (but I'll do it.)
- Speaking in Melbourne scares the shit out of me (but I'll do it.)
- Launching a new blog always scares the shit out of me (but I'll do it.)
- Talking about things that might unseat a lot of people's beliefs (but are true for many others) scares the shit out of me (but I'll do it.)
What doesn't scare us shitless? What everyone else wants us to do. The art of conformity: doing what we're told.
So, I say, ignore everybody. They're scared shitless too.
What do you want to do that scares the shit out of you? I say do it.
It won't be so scary afterwards. I promise.
M.M. has a new talk about being scared shitless.
"They won't eat you." -- M.M.